Broken

I feel broken in two today.  One side of me is tired of believing for the promises of God.  I am discouraged and disappointed.  Then the other side of me is yelling: "God is faithful, you know the truth!"  They have been going back and forth most of day.  :/  


My mom used to say that your emotions are not right or wrong, what you do with them is right or wrong.  My feelings in themselves are not the issue.  God gets we will have days like this.  His Word is filled with encouragement and direction.  I don't think He is threatened by my emotions.  In fact, I have found that to the degree that I am willing to be honest and transparent before Him, is the degree that He can come and touch me.  He has brought healing, correction, direction and restoration (etc) as I paid that cost emotionally to lay myself fully before Him.  No playing, no justifying, no deflecting ~ just raw and honest.  


It is not fun or easy BUT definitely worth it! 


Ok, so back to today.  I was pouring my heart and disappointment out to Him and felt to read Malachi.  The book is basically God setting the Jews straight and confronting what they were saying or doing.  Then in Chapter 4:1-3 says:
       "Surely, the day is coming; it will burn like a furnace.  All the arrogant and every evildoer will be 
        stubble, and that day that is coming will set them on fire, says the Lord Almighty.  Not a root or a
        branch will be left to them.  But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise      
        with healing on its wings.  And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall.  Then
       you will trample down the wicked; they will be ashes under the soles of your feet on the day when I 
       do these things, says the Lord Almighty."


Those words (bold) brought hope again and settled my frazzled emotions.  I feel like I've been pent up like those calves, waiting for the door to open just enough for me to break out and feel the warmth of the sun on my back.  Running free through the grass and flowers blooming, a promise of new life.


The situations may not have miraculously changed, but I have.  Once again, God met me in my need and despair.  He listened, He loved, He corrected and He encouraged.  I love Him for that.  I am grateful that He is my God and I can go to Him ~ broken.  He doesn't leave me there and I don't let my emotions rule over what I know to be true.


May God be with you today and meet you where you are.  Be honest.  Let Him touch that part you keep hidden (or maybe not so hidden).  He loves you!


Have a fab day!
All my love ~
Jodi  xoxo