The Impact of Christmas

Merry Christmas!! Thank you for the gift of being a part of my life and allowing me to share my heart and thoughts with you.

I have been thinking about the impact of what Christmas means to me. I have been brought back to a very simple truth.

Jesus was born so He could die. He would die so I could live, but not just survive this life but walk in wholeness, contentment, and joy. Yes, even with struggling with MS and Lupus, the uncertainty and struggles of this life and all the craziness we face every day.

Think about someone you love so much that you would move mountains to help. You would tackle the roughest seas to rescue.

That’s how Jesus is towards us.

There is not one person on this earth that He did not die for. There is not one person on this earth He does not want to see set free from the things that have us tied in knots.

Jesus literally moved hell off its axis and served notice that we are His, so we could have the opportunity to be free. To be loved. To be known.

The freedom that God has promised us comes when we bend our knee and allow what Jesus did on the cross to change us. We make one small choice at a time towards that freedom.

One tragedy I’ve realized recently is how we can live settling for just admiring Jesus and all He has done for us, rather than allowing the wonder and magnificence of Him to change us?

In Romans 6 Paul says, that we have the same Spirit living in us that raised Jesus from the dead.

It is that same Spirit that…

… Makes it possible to change our bad attitudes. 

… Can change unhealthy patterns into healthy ones.  

... Can change what we say and how we say it.

… Helps us be more kind and forgiving.

The list can circle the globe.

At Christmas we have the opportunity to reflect on the birth of Jesus and celebrating Him. I am grateful that Jesus knew why He was born and that He didn’t allow anything or anyone get in the way of His purpose…that each of us can know God in a very real and personal way and find freedom and wholeness in this life.

I know the Christmas season can be a mix of emotions: excitement and disappointment, ups and downs and missing loved ones. It is my hope that these words will be an encouragement to you and that you will find a quiet moment to reflect on the wonderful gift of Jesus and why He was born…because He Loves You!!!!

Have a wonderful Christmas!

All My Love ~

Xoxo Jodi

P.S. 2020 is going to bring some exciting stuff ;)

Molasses & Hills

Happy November! Let me be the first one to Happy Thanksgiving! I am very grateful for my family, the hard things that allow me to appreciate the beautiful and simple things and for you guys...thank you for being here. 

 

I'm grateful for a beautiful nature-filled walk. I am thankful for legs that carry me even though they are weak and numb. 

I am grateful for peace. Peace that lets me take a deep breath. A breath to keep going. A breath that renews and gives strength to fight my daily giants of MS and Lupus.

I am grateful for quiet moments. Moments when I can rest and regroup. These two never leave my side. (all the hearts) 

I am grateful for small acts of bravery. They don't need to be big to be brave. We just need to step out and do them.

I am grateful every day that I get to be a part of the lives of the people I love. I do not take for granted the enormity or joy in that statement. In between the busyness of life and the messiness of family, let's not lose the wonder of being together. (double all the hearts)

Grateful. That word will be used a lot during the holidays. I pray that if life is hard right now or the holidays are not "joyful" for you and it feels like you're walking through molasses, uphill in the winter (a cold New England winter), that you will take a moment to stop, breath deep, look up and look out to find those things you can be grateful for. 

Psalm 121:1&2 says: "I lift my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth."

I pray that in the hard days we lean into God and are grateful for His strength and in the good days we find the joy and beauty around us. Either way there is something to be grateful for.

I would love to hear what you are grateful for!

All My Love ~ 
xo Jodi

Who Loves a Party?

It's October and officially fall, which in Texas means absolutely nothing. We just have pumpkins wilting in the humidity. I have always loved Fall. I miss the Fall of New England. I miss opening my windows and feeling the breeze air out my house.  I miss home, which got me really sad.  So, I was thinking about how to get out of this spiral and the word "celebration" came to mind. 

Celebration is a good word. There are a lot of reasons to celebrate and a lot of different ways to celebrate. So my thought process went like this (buckle up it's usually a windy, bumpy trip): Fall means Thanksgiving, which is a celebration with family and food. Thanksgiving leads to Christmas or Hanukkah or whatever you celebrate, which means family, presents and food. Holiday breaks mean road trips to see family and friends, road trips mean food and good music. Then New Year's Eve, food is usually involved. So celebration = food, which made me hungry. Where's a good gluten-free cake when you need one?

So, now I was hungry and sad. Honestly, looking at things differently, from another angle helps our perspective. Flip the script. Change the narrative. 

We celebrate a million things and there are a million things to celebrate every day. There is magic in a child's laugh, the wonderful smell of babies hair, the pure joy your fur-baby greets you with every time you come home, when you hit all the green lights, the best food you've ever tasted, the hug that made your week, the compliment from a total stranger, the sigh of contentment, the spastic anticipation for something fantastic.  

Every culture, faith and family has celebrations complete with traditions and food.  I love that every Thanksgiving we use my gram's candied sweet potato recipe and every Christmas we make my mom's fudge. Also, in our family on your birthday you pick your dinner and cake.  

God is big on celebrations, just read through Leviticus 23. He knows the importance of stopping the every day tasks and taking a moment to remember, to pass on, to make new memories. The biggest thing, I think, God celebrates is us. 

God looks at us and celebrates.  He sees us and says: "________________ is good." Isaiah 62:5 says that God rejoices over us. He can see past the stuff that has us all twisted, thinking we've failed too many times...or whatever we think. His love for us goes beyond what we do or don't do.

One of the biggest problems I have with celebrations is the expectation I put on it.  I usually come away disappointed. I have had to learn to scale that back, for my sanity but also my husbands, who got all the tears and yelling and sadness. Sorry Babe, you'll get a jewel in your crown for that. 

So whether you love a good party or would rather dress to match the wallpaper, I just wanted you to know that today, YOU. ARE. CELEBRATED! Imagine confetti and balloons here with your favorite treat being rolled out to you. God celebrates you. I celebrate you. And if you haven't heard it yet, you are doing a great job and we need you in our world.

I would love to hear about your favorite celebration, tradition or food you always have to have.

All My love ~

xo Jodi

The Road Between Faith and Reality

Happy September!  

You know how some things just keep coming up?  There has been a topic of conversation this summer having to do with Christian leaders who, during a crisis of life/faith are turning away from God.  

Each of us will have or has had something happen in our lives that shake the very foundation of what we believe.  Sometimes it done to us, sometimes we make a choice but at some point we will have a crisis in life - a crisis of faith that will cause us to question what we thought we believed.

One of my crises...that rocked me to my core, was when my mom died suddenly from aneurysm.  Dean and I had just gotten married 7 months earlier and were living in New Hampshire.  We got a call very early in the morning saying mom was in the hospital, after collapsing at church.  We hurriedly threw things together and made the several hour drive in a blur. Arriving at the hospital we found her hooked up to machines and non-responsive.  Well-meaning people said things like "God will heal her"....  having to say good-bye to her was the hardest, heart-wrenching thing I had done.  

Here was my crisis of faith (in its most simplified form): How could I trust a God that would suddenly take my mom, who loved Him and was devoted to Him, our family and serving others.  I love Him... What would He ask from me?... What would He take from me?  Could I trust Him with my life?

For years I fluctuated between fear and trust.  He was not really safe for me anymore.  I held back, I was tentative in my faith and how I walked that out.    

Even in my most darkest seasons, my greatest doubts and sleep-robbing fears I never thought that I didn't believe in Him, I didn't want to walk away. But could I trust Him?  Could I follow Him?  That's a deeper issue, isn't it?  It requires knowing His character.  It requires an action on our part to look beyond the circumstances and feelings.  

He gave me time to figure it out, while He kept nudging me closer to Himself.  The truth of His character, faithfulness and love was proven over time.

 God is not freaking out because you are questioning something or even if you get angry with Him.  I have yelled and cried.  He does not turn away from us because we need to wrestle with something.

It can be easier to walk away and not do the hard work of staying.

In any relationship there is a pivotal point of letting go or digging in.  God is not letting go or turning away.  He is there, waiting for us to choose.  Let's choose Him.

I know that if you are struggling with something that is shaking you to the core; or you can't reconcile what you thought with the reality of what you see; or if you really don't know if God is real and you can trust Him, I know that He will be there for you.

Jacob, in Genesis 32, wrestled all night with God and in vs. 28 it says: "Then the man said, Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome."  When I wrestle through my fears, my questions, my doubts, my hurts.  All. Of. It.  God meets me there and changes my name.  He changes who I was, how I thought, how I act - to someone new. 

I pray that you know how much God loves you.  

I would love to hear from you!

All My Love ~
xo ~ Jodi

The lesson I learned from using Waze

Hey you guys!  I hope you are surviving your summer.  We are melting here in Texas.  I would like to hug the guy that invented air conditioners.

Soooo...I did a thing.  It was so out of my comfort zone.  It was completely terrifying and wholly wonderful.  I heard about a writer's conference, Write Brilliant, and Dean signed me up.  Talk about being pushed off the ledge. 

Now, you have to first know that I avoid driving in Houston traffic like the plaque and I am also directionally challenged.  Knowing these two things Dean and I did a dry run a few days before.  Driving that route at 2:00 on Thursday afternoon would be very different than during rush hour, but at least I knew where I was going.  Tuesday morning comes, I pull up the address on my app and am ready for my hour drive.

I am forced into a decision early in the drive.  Waze (direction app) is taking me past the on ramp, the one I knew we were supposed to take.  Panic sets in.  I didn't practice this way!  I can turn around and go where I know.  Waze has one job...to get me there! Should I trust it? 

Trust is hard when you don't know what's next.  Trust is hard when you are not confident in who is leading you.  Deciding to trust initially can be difficult, but continuing to trust during the process is just as scary.  Waze took me the back way, down streets and neighborhoods I've never been before.  Each new turn, each new road, each moment of panic is a choice to trust.

The whole ordeal was an act of courage.  Driving in Houston, driving an unknown route, going to a conference that could begin to bring my writing dream to a reality.  

Leaving what we know, what we are comfortable with, what we practiced for the scary and nerve wracking is an act of bravery.  

Waze did get me there, shaking and exhausted but safe and 5 minutes early.  I did see a section of the highway I was supposed to be on in bumper-to-bumper-stand-still traffic.  Let's be honest that would have been far more frustrating and draining.  I was grateful I trusted and followed the British accent telling me to go straight when I first wanted to turn left.  

What a lesson in trust.  It reminded me how faithful God has been in my life, even when I didn't know it was Him I was following.  There are so many ways that God speaks to us and can lead us.  A small voice, a gut feeling, a friend, an enemy, a book, the Bible...or, as in my case, Waze.  

Deuteronomy 31:6 says: "Be strong.  Take Courage.  Don't be intimated.  Don't give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you.  He's right there with you.  He won't let you down; He won't leave you."

Whatever challenges, situations or new paths we are facing today there is a God who loves us, sees us and is with us.  So let's take that step of bravery into the wonderfully unknown.  We can trust Him.

I would love to hear what your next step is, so I can support you in it or push you off the ledge. 

All my love ~
xoxo  JB

Freedom Take 2

It's Friday morning and I am frustrated.  I sat most of the day on Wednesday and wrote my blog, Freedom.  I always have Dean read it and give myself a day to think if I want to add or change anything.  Thursday morning I went to publish it and I found out it hadn't saved anything!  Nothing since my first few sentences.  All @$%^&!*^$@!% Day!  Dean said it was good, so part of me wants to say, "Sorry you missed it!  I wrote my heart and thoughts out and technology sucks, see you next month."  But then guilt comes and I am wanting to be diligent and faithful to this.  Soooooo.......I will write again.....fingers crossed and it won't be the same, but hopefully Dean will say it's good.  ;)

Freedom has been a word I have seen a lot of with the Fourth of July.  Freedom can mean a lot of different things to every person.  Freedom can be physical, financial, emotional, mental, spiritual.  

I remember the freedom I felt the first time I was able to buy something I wanted after I worked and saved my money.  It was a big deal.  I also love the freedom I feel when I am able to treat someone to something.  I remember the fear of stepping out trying something new and then the feeling of freedom when I overcame that fear and did it.  There was the first time I had to speak in front of a crowd, with a translator.  Guess what?! I didn't die!  I may not have been great at it, but the freedom is in doing it.  

There are so many things that can hold us back from freedom in our lives.  We can lack hope that our circumstances will ever change or that defeating habit, self-talk, or reliving the same old script will be a perpetual loop in our lives.  

The bottom line for me is that God is the reason that I have been able to walk in freedom from so many things in my life.

I put in the work, paid the cost to emotionally face things in my life.  What I mean by that is I stopped pretending I was good, I got gut-honest with myself and God.  I cried, yelled, prayed, read the Bible, listened, sang worship songs and wrote a lot...no filter, no pretense just raw memories and emotions.

God met me.  He showed me how much He loves me and how my value and significance comes from Him...even when I mess up.  Even when I was rejected by people.  Even when...(you fill in the blank). Nothing changes His response to me...or you.

Here's the frustrating thing I found out about freedom, it is a continual work.  We are never not fighting on some level with something.  As long as we are alive we will be fighting for the freedom in our lives.

On the 4th we watched Independence Day.  Fitting, right?!?  Aliens attack earth with the goal of our annihilation.  We fight back and win.  Let's just all agree that President Whitmore's speech is awesome.  "We will not go quietly into the night!"  On the 5th they aired Independence Day: Resurgence.  No surprise, the aliens come back, but we have built better weapons, surveillance, trained the army and there is world-wide unity.  They also come back bigger and badder, ready to finish it.

Isn't it that way in our lives?  We deal with something and some level have victory in it.  We become vigilant in watching for triggers and stand guard against things that we know will trip us up.  But then...a random thought, unkind word, a song, a movie etc and we are right back in the struggle.  Waist deep in an alien attack.  We have a choice.  Every time, every day we have a choice.  

Sometimes I lay my weapon down because I get tired of fighting the same thing over and over.  I should be over the butterflies and anxiety of walking into a room full of people.  I should be over needing people to validate me.  I know who I am in God.  I know He loves me and that I am apple of His eye.  Psalm 17:8 "Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings."

OR....

I can stand before whatever I am battling with my hands on my hips and boldly look at that giant looking to take me out and declare that "My Dad is bigger than yours and He already won!"

Personally, I am very glad that June is over!  It was a real hard month.  The circumstances, pain, confusion that broke me and shattered a part of me may still be there, but I can stand and declare

"I WILL NOT GO QUIETLY INTO THE NIGHT!" 

In the midst of the hardest moments God sends pockets of love, laughter and hope.  We do not have to stay broken, trapped in a negative loop.  We can stand, kneel, worship and declare the freedom we have.  

I pray that wherever you are in your life, whatever you are facing and however you view God that you give Him a chance to meet you.  To bring peace to your struggle.  He loves you.  You are the apple of His eye.

Now, I just hope this blog publishes this time! :-)

All My Love ~ 

xoxo JB

Toe Pick

Happy June my fellow Impactors!!  It's a rainy day here in Pearland.  It's also the first full day I am home alone not Granny-Nannying the kiddos full time.  They started a preschool program 3 days a week and I'll have them on Tuesdays.  It's funny how you can be happy and sad all at the same time.    Change is inevitable and constant.  Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's scary, sometimes it's hard.  Sometimes it's all of it.  Seasons and transitions can be challenging.  They are needed, but challenging.  

The thing about seasons is that they change.  One thing I really miss here in Texas is the four seasons of New England.  Fall is my favorite.  We all have some seasons that we love and some we tolerate and some we really don't like.  Think back over your life and all the different times or seasons.  You could probably name some of your faves and also some you'd rather have a tooth pulled without Novocain than go through again.  

I'm dating myself here, but do you remember the movie Cutting Edge?  The hockey player, Doug couldn't play hockey any more (end of a season) and became part of a figure skating pair with Kate (start of a new season).  One of my favorite parts is when he has to learn to use figure skates.  He can no longer use what he's used to, what he's familiar with.  The figure skates have a toe pick on them and he keeps falling on his face, because he never had to use them in hockey.  Every time he falls, she sarcastically states "Toe Pick".  

I think we forget about the toe pick in the new season of our life.  There is a learning curve.  We've never been here before.  We've never had to do that before.  It's not what we planned for.  It's everything we planned for.  It's completely terrifying.  It's completely wonderful.  We may need to grieve.  We may need to celebrate.  

Learning to drive..toe pick             

Getting married..toe pick           

Going to College..toe pick                    

Having a baby..toe pick                   

New career path..toe pick          

Adjusting to two kids..toe pick

Chronic illness..toe pick      
Death..toe pick
Divorce..toe pick
Death of a dream..toe pick
______________..toe pick

Toe Pick....Toe Pick...Toe Pick

For every new thing. For every deeper thing.  For. Every. Thing. 

Each and every time I've had to adjust to something new or step out into something, I forget that I don't have to be perfect.  I forget that I don't have to have it all figured out before I do it.  

I mean, come on!   I wouldn't have sent me home one day after having my son, Ben.  WHAT were they thinking?!?!  So many times I have been clumsy, fearful and oh so hard on myself.  

We forget to give ourselves space and grace for the toe pick in our situation.  We forget that other people need to adjust to the new season in our life.  We have a hard time watching others figure out their toe pick or don't have the grace for them to figure it out.  One thing I have learned is that no one else can dictate the time frame of how long that takes.  We each move, heal, forgive, step into or step out of something at our own pace.  Remember to ask for grace, give grace and walk in grace.

  
The thing about grace is it sounds idyllic, but it's become a "church" word.  It's stated all the time, but do we know what that really means?  "Just give him some grace, bless his heart."  Ok, that may have been a little snarky, or maybe that's the way it sounded in my head.  We cannot give grace unless we know what it is and have received it for ourselves.  

If you look up grace in the dictionary you will find: elegance of movement; courteous goodwill; polite manner; period of time to pay a debt; prayer before a meal; form of distinction (Your Grace); do honor or credit by your presence; free, unmerited favor of God.  The last one is what we focus on when we refer to grace. 

Simply put: you have done nothing or could ever do enough to earn God's approval, acceptance, esteem, regard, respect, support, generosity, kindness or favor.  His love for you has nothing to do with what you do or don't do.  

Hopefully, you have grace for the server at our favorite restaurant when they're swamped or grace for the toddler that has an accident while potty training.  Why do we have a hard time extending that to ourselves?  Why do we think God is so demanding that He wants us perfect?

I came across this scripture awhile ago. 2 Corinthians 6:11-13 (MSG)
"Dear, Dear Corinthians, I can't tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life.  We didn't fence you in.  The smallness you feel comes from within you.  Your lives aren't small, but you you're living them in a small way.  I'm speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection.  Open up your lives.  Live open and expansively!"

Resisting change.  Resentment.  Judgment.  Fear.  Unforgiveness.  All those things keep us living small lives.  Don't let the toe pick mess up the opportunity to live open and experience new things, even if they start off hard.  

Tonight we are going to watch two of our girls play softball, something they haven't done since high school.  I'm going to yell and cheer and totally be THAT mom.   So today, for all of us,  I'm yelling and cheering for you to watch out for the toe pick and keep going!!  Keep getting up and showing up.  You are loved.  

Have a wonderful, toe pick loving day!!

All my love ~
xo ~ Jodi