So...I took this quiet moment to write down some thoughts and I'm going to actually post this one. I have quite a few drafts here.
I realized that I have a hard time being alone. I was trying to figure out what to do. I should exercise. I should really clean my house...don't look at my baseboards and I'm petrified to see what is behind the stove and fridge.
I sat for a bit thinking about how sad I felt. Why? As crazy as it is watching the gran-babies and taking care of the family I should be glad for this time. I am, but I am also a little lost.
Being busy with all that goes on everyday brings definition. It brings purpose. It brings frustration. It brings joy. It brings tears. It brings laughter. What does just being me, by myself bring? Without a project to do or a task to finish?
It can be a scary thing being quiet with your thoughts...your fears...your goals...your dreams...what I need to be doing...and the opinions! Oh. My. Word. There is an opinion about everything and why I need to be doing what they are doing. (Just a little side note...just because you can say something, doesn't mean you should.)
I am overwhelmed with the noise.
Being quiet and getting to know myself, what I think, feel, believe is not a bad exercise. What does my own voice sound like?
WARNING! Opinions ahead. Read with caution. Take what you like, leave the rest.
This is what I do know:
* I'm still figuring out this motherhood thing. My children are all adults and the challenges are different, but I still don't know what these crazy, beautiful people want from me.
* I prefer actual books over e-books. I want to hold them, snuggle in a comfy spot with tea and read. I like making notes and doodles in study books. I like getting so lost in a story that I am sad when it's over and I have to say good-bye.
* I love getting cards and notes in the mailbox.
* I'm all for eating right and exercising BUT life is short and loves to throw curve balls at your head so once in awhile I drink the shake, eat the fries and enjoy the cake!
* Why are we living in Junior High forever? Whose friends with who? Whose the king of the mountain? Stop! Just Stop! Find people who love you for you and don't worry about what everyone else is doing.
* Comparing and judging: we all do it. Change your self-talk from negative to positive. You're not perfect, get over it. Give people grace and give them room to make mistakes and change. Focus on what you need to do, Lord knows that should keep us too busy to be concerned with their life.
* Sometimes you just need to dance! Turn it up and shake your groove thing!
* Life is messy and imperfect. Family is messy and imperfect. Just when you think you have it figured out or get in a groove...curve ball! (see #2)
God is not freaked out. Trust Him with the mess.
* If my counters are clean I can breathe, even when my house looks like the tornado scene from "The Wizard Of Oz". Who knows why. Just go with it the crazy and clean the counters.
* Take a minute, breathe and look around at the people in your life. This is your life. Don't miss it!
* Get perspective. Ask yourself: "In the light of all eternity, how does this measure up?" Simple phrase, hard to do, could be life-changing.
* God loves me! Another simple and definitely life-changing phrase. He thinks I'm valuable enough to die for.
* Be brave, face the quiet and let your heavenly Father speak life to you.
* God loves me! Another simple and definitely life-changing phrase. He thinks I'm valuable enough to die for.
* Be brave, face the quiet and let your heavenly Father speak life to you.
* I want to be healthy and strong to love and be with my family. I am really afraid of what this disease will look like in the future...God is with me in the darkness.
* I am content and have a good life, but I still want to change and grow and see dreams come true.
That's my view from here on this lovely Saturday morning.
Now, should I clean or exercise or watch netflix???????
May God give you all you need today!
All My Love ~
Jodi Beth xoxo
