Redefined

It is hard to believe that it has been an year since I last wrote.  A lot has happened in our family this past year.  Ben and Sara got married and moved to Nashville, with Remy.   Jessi and Justin got engaged and will be getting married in February; they adopted Shiloh, from the vet Jessi works for.  Rene' took over restyle., a women's consignment store and dating a wonderful guy, Makana.  Nicole is taking driving lessons, babysitting, going out with friends and adopted Leila.  Dean is still loving working at Crosspoint and is busy.  I have joined Rene' at restyle. and loving it!

I also got a tattoo.  It is my second one.  My first one is for my mom.  This one has to do with all that God has taken me through. 

 God has taken this last year and has helped me settle into having MS and Lupus and all that means.  It has taken a year (and I'm sure we will still not agree on certain things) but He has been speaking to my heart about being redefined.  Redefine what my "normal" is now. Redefine how I allow my thoughts and insecurties to limit me. Redefine whose expectations I live for and up to.  This one was, perhaps, the hardest and the center of it all...Redefine my boundaries so they do not become walls.  

So much of my life was trying to live up to every one's expectations, including what others said God wanted.  So much of church and Christianity can become a show that we put on for others, churched and un-churched people alike.  When I finally found the courage to start creating boundaries and saying this wasn't me or who I wanted to be; it was met with mixed reviews. :} Boundaries can become walls.  Building walls can be slow and laborious.  It takes time and energy.  Just ask Nehemiah. :)  Walls can keep out the things that are dangerous and unhealthy for us.  Gone were the unhealthy relationships/situations and the constant nagging of negative voices.  I was able to hear only God's voice.  I was able to redefine what I think of myself...who I am in Him, not through others; what I can or cannot do anymore or what my job or ministry is.  I am more comfortable with who I am.

The thing about walls is you can become so comfortable with the security of it you never want to leave.  When I heard God say to be open. Being open scared me.  These last several years have been difficult and I didn't want to go through any more of it. 
    
I think the key is to know the difference between when a wall needs to stay up and secure or when you need to put a door in there or tear it down completely.  

I think you will never truly know if you are free living behind a wall.  When you are faced with crazy, stupid people or situations that are so familiar you can write the script and place all the characters.  It is then that all that you have allowed God to work in you and out of you is seen.  I think that is part of why He asks you to leave the wall, so you can see the change.  So others can see the change and you can point back to Him.  

So this is how the tattoo came to be.  Keys unlock things, it is to remind me to stay open.  

 The top of the key is the Celtic symbol for the Trinity and the teeth are a double heart.  Love casts out fear.  With God I am all He says I am and I can do all He asks me to. http://youtu.be/ra8xwPVNLEw 
(That's Rene's tattoo: an arrow with Recklessly Abandoned)

Each day is an opportunity to be open and available.  Do you have a wall that needs a door?  May God bless you today in all you do!

All My Love~
Jodi Beth