"The Year of the Family"

So many times these last few months I have written tons of things to share with you, all in my head.  Now, I sit in the quiet of my home...let's stop there for a minute and take that in.  I am sitting in my house and it's quiet! My house is clean.  It's raining and peaceful.  The dogs aren't barking or asking to go out.  Jaydon was born 2 months ago.  The wedding was a few weeks ago.  I don't have to go anywhere, unless I decide I want to and I don't want to.  You guys need to understand, this is the equivalent of the Red Sea parting!  

I have named this year as "The Year of The Family" because of all we have going on.  It's all good stuff, big stuff and incredibly, fantastically, wonderful and completely overwhelming...stuff.  Life is like that, isn't it?  Each one of us, including the ones who married in, has something big either happening or something to figure out.  When I looked at what was coming, I wanted to run away to Montana.  I don't know why, but that's my run away spot (even though I've never been there).  I didn't.  I stayed and did the adult thing...with lots of chocolate.  

Here are a few things I picked up:
1. Break it down into bite size pieces.  You know, like those packages of mini's that come all ready for you to pop into your mouth.  Did you think I was kidding about the chocolate?!?  Ever since the kids were little, they each had a different color pen that we used for them on the calendar.  I could look at any given time and know who needed to be where.  Not since the kids were little, did my calendar look like a rainbow exploded on it.  My lists had lists.  I worked on the next important thing.  Don't rush ahead.  Enjoy each thing for what it is.  

2. Change happens.  Get used to it.  Either by default or design change will happen.  By default, if you do nothing.  By design, if you plan it.  In general, most people don't like change.  Early in the spring we put the wall back up at restyle.  If one more lady comes in flapping her arms and exclaiming "what's different?"  "did you change something?"  "why did you put the wall up?"...  someone hold my earrings.  UGH!  Kids grow up, they graduate, they get married, they have kids, you turn 50...these all happen whether you plan it or not.  Buckle up baby!  When you plan change, even if it's a good, healthy decision for you and your family, not everyone will understand.  Just smile and live your life.

3. Take a moment and look around.  In those moments when your house is overflowing with people, activities, chaos and your to-do list would rival Santa's.   Take a moment.  Soak in the laughter, the fighting, the tears, the hugs.  Breathe.  There will be defining moments that will be a part of your family forever.  Savor.  Take a look around and soak it in.  Look at your family during the long hours in the hospital waiting for that little person to join you; or dancing like crazy people at the wedding; or turning the corner and seeing your sisters and husbands surprise you for your birthday.  Hearing your grown children laugh when they reminisce about growing up, while making new memories.  Watching your youngest graduate.  Seeing your daughter fall in love.  Seeing your other daughter nurse and love her baby. Getting to know your daughter-in-law, who is now more like your daughter. Remember those times when trials made you guys stronger.

These are not found on FB, Pinterest or Instagram.  Live your life.  Even the ugly crying moments.  

4. Be grateful.  I am thankful for the people in my life who have come along side us.  I am thankful for friends who open their house to us.  Who love our children and see who they are, like we do.  I am grateful for friends who asked if I wanted anything from CT and I said Fluff, they brought me a case! For my TX people, come over and I'll make you a Fluff-a-nutter...it'll change your world.  I am grateful for my husband, who loves me and makes me laugh.   I love you even when your eyes glaze over when I talk about all I want to do in the house.

There are so many little and big moments in our days.  Not all will be earth-shattering, but they can change your world.  

At this point, my house is no longer quiet.  People have come and gone.  The dogs are up.  Dinner was made and eaten.   My phone is buzzing with a conversation I'm having with Jessi from her house.  It's still raining, but change...it happens.  Embrace it.  The holidays are coming, here we go again!

I wouldn't have it any other way!  

You have as always, All My Love!
xo ~ Jodi

Trial by Fire

I have a confession...I am overwhelmed and worrying.  I know that means that I am struggling with trusting God.  Pick a topic..any topic!  I know that is not good and what God's word says about worrying. Father, help my unbelief.

 I look around to what is happening in the world and how it's getting crazier by the minute.  My heart breaks for the families torn apart from hatred and violence...both here and globally.  My heart longs to go and and hug those 9 year olds who were taken by ISIS and abused and love on those women who lost everything.  The "we need justice!" side of me wants to go and kick some butt. Or be the cheerleader for those that actually can. :)
Two countries have gone bankrupt and there is talk about a retail apocalypse.  Rene' and I might already be there...where have all the shoppers gone?!?  There is little to no value for human life.  We take so easily.  Take what we have not worked for or think we are owed.  We take others dignity.  

I couldn't sleep last night and I was remembering the first day I taught preschool. I don't know why I was remembering that.  Lord, have mercy!  It was not pretty.  There were about sixteen 3-year-olds and it felt like a hundred.  There was crying..chaos..moms not able to leave.  I was standing in the midst of that and wondering what the heck was happening.  I wanted to sit on the floor and just give up and cry with the kids.  I think we all felt like this was not what it was promised it would be and wanted to run!  My brother said something, I don't remember what, but it got through, and I bucked up and survived that first day.  On a side note, I ended up loving the four years teaching pre-school! My kids rock!!

 I learned how to teach preschool through trial-by-fire.  How many times in my life, and yours, have you walked through a time we felt ill equipped for?  How many times has God stood next to us in the fire?  To be tried by fire is to test your ability to perform under pressure. 

When you are in the fire you can come out extra-crispy or refined.  We have a choice when we face the fire in our lives, be refined: free from impurities, coarseness, vulgarity, precise, exact.  OR we can be burnt and bitter.  We walk around smelly and taking away from all God did for us.  We are not looking or acting like the person we were created to be.  

What do people see when they look at us?

In my life, God has used these times to root out the ugly, mean things that lived in my heart.  Things that stood in opposition to Him.  Things that did not represent Him well.  

Pintrest is filled with ideas and how-to's on making new stuff look old or making the old stuff into something new.  You can scrape and paint and decorate an old piece of wood, but it doesn't change what's under all that paint and decoration.  
It's not about covering what I don't like about myself and pretending to be someone different.  It's about real, life-shaking change.  

God is all about change.  From hate to love.  From insignificant to valuable.  He starts with what's in us and works it out.  When I was younger I wanted to change the  world.  I wanted to make a difference.  God wanted to change me.  I felt we had a conflict of interests!  I eventually got it: God changes us so we can impact the world we walk around in every day.  It wasn't the grandiose idea I had.

Life happened.  Missions, marriage, kids, ministry, jobs, family, hurts, joys, disappointments, success, dreams crumbling and dreams flourishing. God changed me.  

Change needs to happen in us first.  Only then will we love one another.  Only then will we value another person's life, opinion (even if we don't agree) and treat others with dignity and respect.  

The world we live in may be chaotic and scary but I am choosing to believe God.  I find comfort in the heart of God towards me.  Read Psalm 91!

All my love ~
xo Jodi



  

50 years and counting....

Here's a shocker...I'm turning 50 on Sunday!!  It may not be earth shattering to you, but I'm reeling a bit.  When I was younger, I thought 50 would be different. 

The people I knew around that age seemed to have it all together.  Meanwhile, I feel like I'm still figuring things out and finally coming into my own.  I know how far I've come, but also know how far I need to go.  I wonder if they felt the same way I do?  

The reality of my turning 50 is I out-lived my mom (she passed when she was 46), so this is new territory and I  wish I could have asked her what she was going through physically, where she was at emotionally and with her life.  I'm making a map for my girls, and anyone else that needs it.

There have been some things that I have learned that I want to share with you. My gray-haired words of wisdom...yes, I have gray hair and yes I color it. I'm not going down like that!  I have made sure my girls know to keep me plucked and colored!  :)

1. You can't reason with crazy!

There is NO point, don't waste your energy.  If there is a person in your life that never sees their part in conflict, deflects and blames everyone/thing else, can never apologize and always finds you at fault...move on.  Be nice, but move on.  God says His love leads to repentance. We need to love like He does, but we don't need to have them over for dinner and invite that crazy into our everyday lives.

2. Sometimes you step in poop!

You will be doing life, handling everything and juggling all those balls in your life when BAM! a big pile of poop is all over your favorite shoe.  Now, our tendency is to throw our hands up in the air and scream, "Why???  Don't you see what's actually going on here?!" Take a moment. Grieve the beloved shoes.  Ask why things keep happening when you're trying your best.  It's OK.  THEN grab a stick, clean your shoe, and move on.  It's called life.  It's not a personal attack of the universe against you.  

God says we can do all things in HIS STRENGTH!  Thank you Jesus!!

3. You can learn something from everyone!

That was one of my Mom's sayings.  Deciding who you allow to influence your life is huge.  Everyone has good and bad qualities.  You can learn what to do and what not to do, both are important.  We can easily see flaws in others and think I never want to act like that.  So don't.  We can see things we admire and wish we could be like that. Do that.  We need to realize that we have the potential to be and act in ways that we like and ways we don't a million times every day.  Every day is new.  Every day should be a learning experience.  Everyone has something to teach us.  Pay attention.

4. You will have the grace to eat a snake-on-a-stick when you have to eat snake-on-a-stick!

Another one of Mom's sayings. (For my "Redefined" girls I combined this one with the poop one...oops.  But let's be truthful, sometimes the snake you have to eat tastes like poop.) :{

There is no point in getting overwhelmed by your calendar, what could happen, all the things going on in your life or the lives of the people you love.  You don't have the grace for what's coming next week, because it's not next week.  You have the grace for today.  Walk in that today.  When you need the grace to walk through a situation, such as a crazy period of life, God's grace will be there.  Not before it and not after it.  Just when you need it.  He says it will be enough for all you need.  He says it covers you like a tent.  Trust Him! ...He's not freaked out!

While we are on the topic of Mom.  She also used to say: "I can see clearly now, said the man, as he peed into the wind.  It's all coming back to me now."  This has little redeeming factor, other than making me chuckle, but...peeing into the wind is never a good thing? or maybe what you put out there comes back?  I don't know...

5. You need to embrace your life, where you're at!  

When I was younger so much energy and emotion was spent on wanting to be somewhere else emotionally, financially, geographically, spiritually, vocationally. You get the picture.  Comparing ourselves to everyone else is NEVER helpful!

I am not as great as I think others are and I am not as awful as I think I am.  They are not that great, see #3 and I am that bad.  Give yourself a break and take them off the pedestal.  OH!  Another thing my mom said was, no one poops gold.  She was something, that Renee!  When I finally stopped fighting and learned to embrace my life, as it was, I found peace.  Like Paul, we can say no matter what stage in life I'm in, I am content. 

So, there are a few things...

I love you and hope you have a great day!!

Have a piece of cake for me this weekend and enjoy your life!

All my love ~

xo JB

 

Faith

Today I sit full of many emotions, trying to sort them out.  Overwhelmed by decisions about restyle.  Sad that Jessi has the flu and is miserable, but glad that she has camped out here and we can love on her and Justin.  Excited for Rene' and Makana as they begin to plan their wedding and life together, but also sad that the day will come that when I wake up she will not be here asking her dad to make coffee.  I am missing Ben and Sara.  And then there's Nicole, although Dean keeps saying she's only 12, dilusion aside, she will be graduating this year.  Although I'm excited to see all that is going to flourish in her life, I am sad that one day...those exciting, wonderful things will take her away.  Now I'm really sad. Who has chocolate?!?!  And a tissue?  And a hug?

I am also grateful.  Grateful for all the above and many more things.  Grateful that I am loved and able to love, not only the people in my life but my God!  I am grateful for being able to write and share a "Redefined" study with a lovely group of women.  Grateful for the new friendships I'm making.  I'm glad I listened to God when He spoke to me about being open a few years ago.

This past Saturday we had a women's event at church.  I loved the ladies at our table, we had a good time sharing and laughing.  I was asked to speak about faith and I am grateful for being a part of that awesome time.

I wanted to share with you some things I shared about Faith.  I will try to condense it, but you may want to grab a cup-o'-joe or tea or whatever and sit back and hopefully be encouraged.

Faith and trust has always gone hand-in-hand for me, and trust is not easy for me.  When I was praying and asking God how to describe something that can be difficult to grasp and a little ambiguous.  I thought of the chair.  Everyday since we were little we were put in chairs.  Chairs of all sizes and shapes.  We eat, sleep, ride, read, etc. every day in chairs.  We sit in chairs without even thinking about it.  We know they will hold us and do their job. 

What if since we were little, chairs were unpredictable?  What if when we went to sit, we never knew if they would break or hold us?  By the time we were adults we would approach a chair very differently.  We would be cautious and skeptical.  We would test the chair.  We would hold our breath until we knew we wouldn't fall.  

We can trust the chair because experience tells us that we can.  In the same way we can have faith in the One who has set the seasons and times of our lives.  The only way to truly trust and have faith in God is to know we can count on Him and the only way to know that is to know Him and His character.  Each difficult time in our lives is an opportunity to know Him better and know He is trustworthy.

Early in my walk I came across Deuteronomy 7:9 "Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands."

I have held onto that scripture throughout my life.  For a girl whose world regularly bottomed out, that promise is a lifeline to hope.  

In each season I have walked through, I have come to know God differently and deeper.  He is not a man that will let you down.

God's actions match His character!!

I have also come to know that not understanding does not need to be the same as not trusting!

We can and need to trust God even when we don't understand.  These are great moments, when it's just you and God knee-deep in mess, to get to know Him more personally.  More of who He is.  

Even through all the things that God has brought us through, I still struggle with  trusting Him. 

Zig Ziglar says: "Fear and Faith have the same definition. They both mean believing that what you cannot see will happen."

You believe either fear or faith.  Each time we walk through a time of faith and trusting God, we have that confidence for the next thing.

When you walk in faith, trusting God to be who He says He is and do what He says He'll do..you are stronger than you think. You are stronger than your past.  You are stronger than your fear.

When you are in mourning, He is your joy.
When you are lonely, He is your friend.
When you are celebrating, He is dancing with you.
When you are fearful, He is your confidence and hope.
When you are surrounded by darkness, He is your light.

Our faith is not dependent on a good season vs. a bad season, health vs. sickness, etc.  

Our faith is dependent on the Living, Loving God:
Who loved you since before you were born.
Who loved you enough to send His Son to die.
Who loved you enough to send the Holy Spirit to teach and guide you.
Who loved you through every weakness and broken area in your life.

Step out in faith today...God is there!!!

xo ~ Jodi

Auntie 'Em, Auntie 'Em

Lately, I have been feeling like Dorothy flying through the tornado in a house spinning out of control.  Let's just land this thing, Toto!  Life has been straight up crazy since the holidays.  Have you felt it?  I can't be the only one yelling for Auntie 'Em to save me from the crazy lady on the bike.  

Dean's dad passed away, we are going to be grandparents!..CRAZY! My boy, Mark is getting married (grafted in ~ one of Ben's besties...do boys have besties?) He asked Dean to marry him and his awesome fiancé, Rebecca, in North Carolina.  My niece, Dani is getting married.  How are these kids old enough to be doing this stuff?!?

I am watching my family have growing pains, which causes all kinds of momma angst.  It's a good kind of pain, needed, but not fun to watch.

  

Jessi, I'm sorry you have been sick being pregnant!  You probably got that from me.  The greenish color will go away and you will enjoy food again.  Promise.  Hang in there, it's worth it! Justin...it gets better and the dad is important! 

Nay, you are stronger than you think!  You have what it takes to do all that is in your heart.  Deep breath! Now, JUMP!  

Cole, whatever you choose for your next step is just one step.  It doesn't have to be perfect and all encompassing.  You can change your mind a million times and do a million different things.  Follow the peace and don't settle for ordinary!

Ben and Sara, I miss you more than words can express and hope that you are thriving as a couple and growing as individuals, in Nashville.

Deano, I love you!  You are an amazing man.  Thank you for standing by me and always believing in me and our family.  

I'm turning 50 this year...NOW HOW did that happen???!!!!  I think it's going to be hard, because I'm already having moments of disbelief and despair. 

I agree with Dorothy, "there's no place like home".  Even when home is a tornado and life is flying so fast you are ducking flying monkeys and windows are trying to take you out. 

My people may be crazy, but they're mine and I love them!  My life may be completely overwhelming, but it's mine and I wouldn't change it! 

 ...commercial break...I just want you to know what a huge statement that is.  I have not always felt that way.  Coming to terms with things in our lives that have been, or still are, not what we wanted and embracing where we are and what's going on now are keys to finding peace and contentment.

Whatever is happening in your life, whether you're flying through a tornado and hanging on for dear life, or running away from flying monkeys, or you landed your house in a strange new place that you've never been before.  God is there.  He will hold you, guide you, protect you and help you down the yellow brick road to all He has for you.  He will provide you with your own Scarecrow, Tin-man and Lion to walk alongside you.  

I know because I think I just landed with a thud, right on the wicked witch! You know what happens: the sister comes, chaos ensues.  Each new adventure in our lives means obstacles.  I hold onto His promise that He will never leave me.  He is not a man hiding behind a curtain telling us not to look.  He is not trying to get one over on us.  He is trustworthy!  He is faithful!  He has you in the palm of  His hand!

There's no place like home!!  In the arms of my heavenly Father and with the love of my own little group of crazies.  

May you find peace today in the midst of your storm, grab Toto and dance down the road home!

All my love ~

Jodi xo